Updates from the land of fire[d] "reforms"

Wow, it has been a while. In fact, a year and two months since I shared my speech at the opening ceremony from Forum 2000 last year. 

But that is not why I am here again. 

I thought I vent out and what not a better place, then here, on my good old blog. 

So, what has been going on in Azerbaijan? 

A lot, actually. And I find it hard to keep up, especially as I work on the book about Azerbaijan, and things keep changing, so I keep going back to my earlier chapters and adding footnotes to names, institutions, or legislation that changed, was replaced or sacked [in no particular order that is]. 

So, first things first, the Azerbaijan parliament has been dismissed or dissolved, by itself (or by the president) - which is still against the constitution so the general understanding is that it was dismissed by the president. The new election set to take place on February 9, 2020. And plus, no one really gives a damn about the constitution or laws in Azerbaijan, especially when they are always in favor of the government. On December 4, two days after the parliament voted to dismiss itself, the Constitutional Court in Azerbaijan ruled in favor of the decision approving the call for an early election saying it was not really against the country's constitution.

The official reason (or based on what Bahar Muradova read from her statement on the day the parliament was dismissed) to assist the government in on-going reforms (note: read between the lines, please, there are NO reforms). You would be surprised (or not) to hear 99 members voted in favor - so all those members who have "tirelessly" said yes, to everything that president has told them to say yes to were kicked out. 

Remember one of my first posts here about "flock of sheep"? In case you don't, here is a reminder. 

The president has also sacked some of his high ranking officials. Including Ramiz Mehdiyev (81), the head of the Presidential Apparatus or as he is known in more candid circles - Don Corleone - and a man known for his allegiance to the former president Heydar Aliyev. 

The president has also reshuffled the cabinet of ministers as well as the Presidential Apparatus. But please observers, don't be fooled by what you are seeing. It is the same family, the same mindset, and the same interests running the country. If anything, the new government is going to be rougher than the previous one.

Early parliamentary election

Not everyone is happy (not that there was a time when everyone was happy in the country). In just two months, candidates have to register, prepare their campaign and run for the parliament. Well, if these are going to be free and fair elections that is.

The opposition thinks the time allocated is not enough. Former leader of opposition party Isa Gambar told Azadliq Radio that the decision is nothing but an attempt to set up a designated parliament.  

Others are considering boycotting elections. 

Meanwhile, government representative Ali Ahmadov [Deputy PM] said, "The truth is, the people have boycotted the radicals [this is how he refers to the opposition]. And as a result, no one wants to hear their [opposition] calls [for boycott]. 

FYI, on December 23, Azerbaijanis will vote in Municipal Elections. 

The Central Election Committee says there are no issues with having two elections in such close time.

In my humble opinion, we can expect a few possible outcomes:
1. all newly "elected" parliament members won't be ideologically much different the previous ones, although they may be a few decades younger than the recently dismissed MPs;
2. a few opposition representatives may be "allowed" to enter the parliament but have very little impact given the majority is still going to be represented by the members of the ruling party (note: read between the lines once again, likely to be split between Pashayev and Aliyev fronts);
3. some concession and negotiations may take place between the authorities and the opposition where the latter will be allowed to be present;

Retirement plans and wages

You may ask what happens to the members of the parliament (and other high ranking government officials) who don't get elected in the next election? They retire, but not like any average pensioner in Azerbaijan. They get to enjoy a cushy pension. Which according to some independent economists is unfair, and so to make things fair, retired teachers, doctors, for instance, should be getting the same amount of pension as retired parliament members. Especially when you factor in the time spent in "active employment". 

Here is how it works: the minimum pension in Azerbaijan has been raised to 200AZN as of October 2019. A parliament member's pension is 80% of their monthly income which is about 4 times higher than the current minimum pension wage. 

And, in addition, even if you have been in the parliament for ten years an MP can get at minimum 1000AZN - compared to 20-30-40 and more years of work that teachers, doctors put in before they retire. 

Example: with a work experience of 40 years a teacher gets paid 256AZN after retirement, while a parliament member, who has been at the parliament even for one term [thats just five years], gets around 1100AZN. 

Parliament member Fazil Mustafa, says it's a fair recommendation to make all pensions equal, or at least improve those of the teachers and others but ensuring equal pensions may strain the state budget. 

It was only in October this year that minimum wages were raised [likely fearing more social unrest amid growing tension between the general public and the authorities]. As a result, monthly wages were raised from 180AZN to 250AZN [approximately 150USD]. While a monthly pension was raised from 160 to 200AZN.    

Meanwhile, parliamentarian's wages have been on a steady increase. As of May 1, 2018 MPs in Azerbaijan receive 1,732AZN [approximately 1,000USD]. 

The cost of living in Azerbaijan was set at 180AZN in 2018. Also, it is worth noting that the cost of living between 2014 and 2018 increased by 48AZN.

It is not only the pension that sets officials apart from the commoners. Ramiz Mehdiyev was appointed the president of Azerbaijan National Academy of Sciences (may I remind you that he is 81). Or, Novruz Mammadov who until he was "dismissed" served as the Prime Minister was appointed as the Vice-rector of Azerbaijan University of Languages. Or Heydar Asadov, former minister of agriculture was appointed the new rector of Azerbaijan State Maritime Academy.

In other news

*The Council of Europe Commissioner for Human Rights, Dunja Mijatović, published today the report on her visit to Azerbaijan, with recommendations on how to ensure freedom of expression, increase the number of lawyers and the quality of legal assistance in the country, and empower internally displaced persons (IDPs). 

 *PACE’s Committee on Legal Affairs and Human Rights has found that, on the basis of factual findings of the European Court of Human Rights, a number of individuals are “political prisoners” according to the Assembly's definition. Recalling the Court’s finding of a “troubling pattern” of politically motivated misuse of the criminal justice system, and the significant number of similar cases pending before the Court, the committee said that “fundamental reforms are necessary if Azerbaijan is to fulfill its obligations under the European Convention on Human Rights”.

So in case, with all your good intentions and hope, you have been thinking there is a sudden wind of change in Azerbaijan, forget it, and I mean it. The only kind of wind you will see (or feel)- is the same iffy kind of wind that's been blowing away our future (and present). 

A note for the Queen

Its been a while since I have made an entry here.

Busy times, and depressing news lines with an exception of occasional good stories here and there have not been too motivating. Just because things are, to put it gently are shit.

Back home crackdown continues unabated. Money is laundered and no one is to take responsibility for what is going on only to blame "others" whoever those others are still a mystery to me.

But then, I stumbled upon a status update shared on Facebook. It was not really a status update but a letter to the Queen of England herself. Below you may find rough translation of the status that for Russian speakers you may find here.

"Thoughts of provincial biopolitics 8 or an open letter to the Queen of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Her Majesty Elizabeth II. 

“Nobody tells me anything…” 

 James Galsworthy

You Majesty, Ilham Murtuzayev speaking here, from Azerbaijan. I would like to congratulate you albeit belatedly on your 90th birthday and wish you good health and well-being. However, in this regard, I have a delicate request to make. 

As far as we are allowed to know, our country, namely the President of Azerbaijan Ilham Aliyev, has allocated a lump sum to celebrate your anniversary. 

I am 67 years old and I have about 50 years’ of professional experience. Currently, my pension is around 50-60GB pounds per month. One million pensioners in Azerbaijan receive approximately the same amount. 

I imagine it would be difficult for you to understand how one survives on this amount, and I won't even try explaining it to you. Perhaps, our president also does not know. 

That is why I hope you would understand my delicate request and refund this money to the poor Azerbaijani pensioners. 

Maybe you would want to donate this sum to a charity, but to paraphrase Mahatma Gandhi, one can say “Good purposes cannot be reached by bad money”.

I understand that this will not affect my pension (and neither it will yours) and I may as well be accused of international terrorism, religious extremism, drug or weapon trafficking and so on. 

Thank you, Your Majesty. 

Using this opportunity and while I have access to Internet, I would also like to appeal to some of the countries which also receive our money, and ask them not to build various centres, parks, monuments and etc. with the money of poor Azerbaijani pensioners. 

Even religious structures do not recommend that one engages with charity to the detriment of one’s own interests. However, in this case I am not sure that personal interests are being hurt. 

For example, about a year ago, we, a group of citizens from Gusar city sent a letter to the Haydar Aliyev Foundation asking to save from destruction our very ancient city park which has a 200-year-old history. We never received even an answer. 

However, the same Haydar Aliyev Foundation built an entertainment centre in Paris. 

It is hard to stay happy in such cases. I am kindly asking world communities to stop organizing “Eurovision”, “Formula 1”, European and other Olympic games in Azerbaijan. Also, please do not send always-smiling OSCE and other observers to Azerbaijan during various referendums, election monitoring and etc. Or, at least, please choose those who are allergic to black caviar. 

The same smiling observers visited Syria many times. It would be great to send them there nowadays.  

Azerbaijan has a lifetime prime minister, and other ministers (who have privatized their ministries), deputies (who were elected by no one) and even an ombudsman has been here for a lifetime?! 

On 26th September we had the referendum (I even saw three people who went to vote) and now, to call things by their names, even Mr President is here for life. 

80-90 per cent of goods in our country’s grocery stores are imported from Russia, Iran, Belarus, Ukraine and even Georgia!? We don’t even produce plastic buckets. The Baku – Russian border highway (250 km long) has been under construction for almost ten years. One billion US dollars has been spent on it. All the people involved in it have already bought houses, villas in London, Istanbul, Prague and elsewhere. 

But the highway is still under construction. When one section of road is ready, they immediately start to repair the previous one. 

Today is 28th October 2016. We are in Gusar city. There has been no gas since this morning, and at 5pm just when our residents were looking forward to getting their gas back, the electricity went down as well. It is exactly the same like it was 20 years ago…"

I think this letter sums up pretty well the shit show taking place in Azerbaijan right now or shall I say, taking place for the last 20 years? 

Behind the Jimmy Choose, Chanel and more- the life of ordinary Azerbaijanis

Some time ago, when President Aliyev came to Turkey on an official visit, the local newspapers put aside the official language of the meetings and preferred instead to focus on the first lady. The headlines were all about the impeccable taste for fashion of Mehriban Aliyeva. So seeing this piece few days ago, wasn't surprising. After all, they are the daughters of a fashionista. But at what cost? A pair of Jimmy Choose for instance can cost anything from 848 to 125EUR according to the company's official website. Chanel bags, often adorning first lady's shoulder (in all colors and sizes) are between 15,000USD and 2,600USD according to this website. Of course the list of brands and products can go on and on and so can their prices. They are the President's wife and daughters but can a pair of Jimmy Choose really cover up the behind the fashion scenes of average Azerbaijanis?

Baku has become an expensive city to live in. It has also changed. New restaurants, cafes, boutique shops pop up here and there. But they are not cheap. I think it was my mother's birthday. We had a wonderful time but when I paid the check and we were about to leave, something that she said touched me. Being a doctor of some 40+ years, dedicated to her job, she said to me that she would have never afford coming here given the check was around half of her monthly salary. And there I was, surprised and yet frustrated that I, with some 5+ years of experience, could afford a life style not just my mom, but many of our older generation folks cannot afford (and this is just a simple dinner, at a decent restaurant). 

Then came the time when I had to take care of my mom when she had a stroke. One of the shots she had to be given, cost quarter of her salary. She needed these shots every day.

So here we are, with my mom being just one example while there millions of moms like mine struggling, surviving, depending on their children (if their children can actually take care of their parents) and our fashion and brand conscious first lady and her daughter, who apparently like to wear lots of mascara and wear their hair down. 

Surely, its not just about fashion and brands. When a big chunk of the country is looking for jobs, or trying to get by on daily basis, isn't it a bit obnoxious to pretend that lots of mascara is all you need? Or when majority of our over-50 elders, struggle with their monthly pensions to simply have a life?

Perhaps the family needs to look beyond the shoulders of their advisers and pretentious officials? I am sure instead of a pair of Jimmy Choose an average Azerbaijani would prefer a good supper on a table, and a worry free life about tomorrows.