Updates from the land of fire[d] "reforms"

Wow, it has been a while. In fact, a year and two months since I shared my speech at the opening ceremony from Forum 2000 last year. 

But that is not why I am here again. 

I thought I vent out and what not a better place, then here, on my good old blog. 

So, what has been going on in Azerbaijan? 

A lot, actually. And I find it hard to keep up, especially as I work on the book about Azerbaijan, and things keep changing, so I keep going back to my earlier chapters and adding footnotes to names, institutions, or legislation that changed, was replaced or sacked [in no particular order that is]. 

So, first things first, the Azerbaijan parliament has been dismissed or dissolved, by itself (or by the president) - which is still against the constitution so the general understanding is that it was dismissed by the president. The new election set to take place on February 9, 2020. And plus, no one really gives a damn about the constitution or laws in Azerbaijan, especially when they are always in favor of the government. On December 4, two days after the parliament voted to dismiss itself, the Constitutional Court in Azerbaijan ruled in favor of the decision approving the call for an early election saying it was not really against the country's constitution.

The official reason (or based on what Bahar Muradova read from her statement on the day the parliament was dismissed) to assist the government in on-going reforms (note: read between the lines, please, there are NO reforms). You would be surprised (or not) to hear 99 members voted in favor - so all those members who have "tirelessly" said yes, to everything that president has told them to say yes to were kicked out. 

Remember one of my first posts here about "flock of sheep"? In case you don't, here is a reminder. 

The president has also sacked some of his high ranking officials. Including Ramiz Mehdiyev (81), the head of the Presidential Apparatus or as he is known in more candid circles - Don Corleone - and a man known for his allegiance to the former president Heydar Aliyev. 

The president has also reshuffled the cabinet of ministers as well as the Presidential Apparatus. But please observers, don't be fooled by what you are seeing. It is the same family, the same mindset, and the same interests running the country. If anything, the new government is going to be rougher than the previous one.

Early parliamentary election

Not everyone is happy (not that there was a time when everyone was happy in the country). In just two months, candidates have to register, prepare their campaign and run for the parliament. Well, if these are going to be free and fair elections that is.

The opposition thinks the time allocated is not enough. Former leader of opposition party Isa Gambar told Azadliq Radio that the decision is nothing but an attempt to set up a designated parliament.  

Others are considering boycotting elections. 

Meanwhile, government representative Ali Ahmadov [Deputy PM] said, "The truth is, the people have boycotted the radicals [this is how he refers to the opposition]. And as a result, no one wants to hear their [opposition] calls [for boycott]. 

FYI, on December 23, Azerbaijanis will vote in Municipal Elections. 

The Central Election Committee says there are no issues with having two elections in such close time.

In my humble opinion, we can expect a few possible outcomes:
1. all newly "elected" parliament members won't be ideologically much different the previous ones, although they may be a few decades younger than the recently dismissed MPs;
2. a few opposition representatives may be "allowed" to enter the parliament but have very little impact given the majority is still going to be represented by the members of the ruling party (note: read between the lines once again, likely to be split between Pashayev and Aliyev fronts);
3. some concession and negotiations may take place between the authorities and the opposition where the latter will be allowed to be present;

Retirement plans and wages

You may ask what happens to the members of the parliament (and other high ranking government officials) who don't get elected in the next election? They retire, but not like any average pensioner in Azerbaijan. They get to enjoy a cushy pension. Which according to some independent economists is unfair, and so to make things fair, retired teachers, doctors, for instance, should be getting the same amount of pension as retired parliament members. Especially when you factor in the time spent in "active employment". 

Here is how it works: the minimum pension in Azerbaijan has been raised to 200AZN as of October 2019. A parliament member's pension is 80% of their monthly income which is about 4 times higher than the current minimum pension wage. 

And, in addition, even if you have been in the parliament for ten years an MP can get at minimum 1000AZN - compared to 20-30-40 and more years of work that teachers, doctors put in before they retire. 

Example: with a work experience of 40 years a teacher gets paid 256AZN after retirement, while a parliament member, who has been at the parliament even for one term [thats just five years], gets around 1100AZN. 

Parliament member Fazil Mustafa, says it's a fair recommendation to make all pensions equal, or at least improve those of the teachers and others but ensuring equal pensions may strain the state budget. 

It was only in October this year that minimum wages were raised [likely fearing more social unrest amid growing tension between the general public and the authorities]. As a result, monthly wages were raised from 180AZN to 250AZN [approximately 150USD]. While a monthly pension was raised from 160 to 200AZN.    

Meanwhile, parliamentarian's wages have been on a steady increase. As of May 1, 2018 MPs in Azerbaijan receive 1,732AZN [approximately 1,000USD]. 

The cost of living in Azerbaijan was set at 180AZN in 2018. Also, it is worth noting that the cost of living between 2014 and 2018 increased by 48AZN.

It is not only the pension that sets officials apart from the commoners. Ramiz Mehdiyev was appointed the president of Azerbaijan National Academy of Sciences (may I remind you that he is 81). Or, Novruz Mammadov who until he was "dismissed" served as the Prime Minister was appointed as the Vice-rector of Azerbaijan University of Languages. Or Heydar Asadov, former minister of agriculture was appointed the new rector of Azerbaijan State Maritime Academy.

In other news

*The Council of Europe Commissioner for Human Rights, Dunja Mijatović, published today the report on her visit to Azerbaijan, with recommendations on how to ensure freedom of expression, increase the number of lawyers and the quality of legal assistance in the country, and empower internally displaced persons (IDPs). 

 *PACE’s Committee on Legal Affairs and Human Rights has found that, on the basis of factual findings of the European Court of Human Rights, a number of individuals are “political prisoners” according to the Assembly's definition. Recalling the Court’s finding of a “troubling pattern” of politically motivated misuse of the criminal justice system, and the significant number of similar cases pending before the Court, the committee said that “fundamental reforms are necessary if Azerbaijan is to fulfill its obligations under the European Convention on Human Rights”.

So in case, with all your good intentions and hope, you have been thinking there is a sudden wind of change in Azerbaijan, forget it, and I mean it. The only kind of wind you will see (or feel)- is the same iffy kind of wind that's been blowing away our future (and present). 

Aliyev's mask is finally off

It just keeps getting better and better. After appointing his wife as VP, intimidating family members of dissident activists living abroad, president Aliyev's minions go after popular video blogger, author of numerous videos critical of the government and its officials of their lavish life styles. Court in Baku sentenced Mehman Huseynov to two years on charges of slander. 

This is important. Huseynov is the first journalist/blogger to be openly sentenced for slander. So the mask is finally off for president Aliyev. No need for cover ups and camouflages. And why should he be hiding anymore anyway. He has changed the constitution, secured presidency for life, violated every single possible human rights convention Azerbaijan signed up to and got away with it, made his wife his vice president. 

Mehman's sentence means that the government in Azerbaijan no longer needs to hide its true colors; that more arrests will follow [not that there were many independent voices left anyway] and that we have successfully transitioned to being banana republic (not that we were too far from  becoming one). 

I think someone should tell one of Aliyev's minions they should add that description into one of Aliyev's speeches where he boasts about democracy, freedoms, modernism and so on. "In addition to many strengths of our country, we have also successfully built a banana republic".

***Updated
Also today, court extended pre-trial detention period of Faig Amirli, finance director at opposition Azadliq newspaper by three months;
Another court extended pre-trial detention of political activist Fuad Ahmadli by three months;
And yet another court extended pre-trial detention of another journalist Elchin Ismayilli until June;

It all stays in a family

In TV series Sopranos, there is a line when Tony speaks to Christopher Moltisanti, the cousin of Tony Soprano’s wife and part of his inner circle: “Blood. You’re going to lead this family into the 21st century."

I wonder what was the conversation Mehriban Aliyev had with her husband Ilham Aliyev before he broke the news that he was going to appoint her as Azerbaijan's first VP? 

Maybe Ilham Aliyev watched Sopranos, and maybe he even used that sentence. 

But that was a movie, Azerbaijan and the appointment is real life.

Aliyev said his beautiful (well, he did not actually say beautiful) but he did say, determined and dedicated and lots of other pretty words about his wife while presenting her to his "comrade minions" at the "security" meeting today (February 21, 2017). 

She was nuanced when she delivered "thank you love" speech. 

And so it was made official- Azerbaijan was run by a family (first father, then son- you know the story) but now it is run by a family where all its current member are alive and well. We should be expecting another appointment to the second VP position. It could be Aliyev Junior, or perhaps not yet. It could be one of the daughters or maybe the husband of one of the daughters. 

At this point, it does not really matter who gets to occupy the position of second VP because no matter who that person is going to be, Azerbaijan has just changed to a royal family type of thing in what already looked like a monarchy. 

The plastic/fantastic first lady takes all the votes in under two hours...

I wish this post was about the Barbie doll song. Remember? 

"I'm a barbie doll, in the barbie world

Life in plastic, its fantastic..." 

Although really its only these two sentences that are relevant to my blog post today.

She can hardly put a smile on her face (because of all the plastic surgeries she has had). She doesn't meet with the common folk much unless its an opening of some sort or some charity event (probably afraid her expensive clothes would get ruined). She is more interested in her channel bags and fashion and galas promoting the Azerbaijan that doesn't really exist (someone has to spend the money the husband steals). But she is Azerbaijan's first lady and the wife of authoritarian, ruthless president of Azerbaijan Ilham Aliyev. 

But turns out she also won with the highest number of votes in the parliament elections in Azerbaijan. But not only she was the winner she was also the fastest vote collector. According to official resources, in just two hours of the 39309 people who cast their ballots at the precinct no.14 38029 voted for their lady. 

I guess life is still fantastic despite all the fake plastic...

Aliyev is suing French channel for calling him a despot

But President Aliyev is forgetting that France isn't Azerbaijan and while in Azerbaijan he can hire and buy out a whole court and prosecutor office to do as he pleases, things don't work the same way in France.

Last week, French TV aired an investigative piece (to me also work of art) about President Aliyev, his by now mastered caviar diplomacy, the country's corruption levels and poor rights record. Cash Investigation- the brain behind the show and its host, French journalist Elise Lucet was able to attend the opening gala of a photo exhibition ironically titled "Azerbaijan- the land of tolerance". Not only Lucet was able to attend the opening but she also was able to ask few questions to Mehriban Aliyev who was there (of course how could she not!) as the head of Heydar Aliyev Foundation who also happened to be the chief sponsor of the event.

Here is brief conversation:

Elise Lucet: Is your country really a land of tolerance?

Mehriban Aliyeva: Land of tolerance? Of course, it is. 

Elise Lucet: Because you have many political prisoners in jail right now in Azerbaijan.

Mehriban Aliyeva: It is not true. Just get correct information.

Elise Lucet: Do you know Leyla Yunus [repeats the question twice] or Khadija Ismayilova? They are in jail! They have been sentenced from 7.5 to 8.5 years in jail.

Needles to say, Lucet shortly after [like within seconds] was kicked all the way to the back of the crowd because security [of course] didnt like the questions. Even if Lucet tried explaining to the security that she is French journalist and that this was France the security was quick to say "This was not a press conference". He then asked her to "Please be silent [repeating it a few times] Be quiet!"

Anyhow, you can watch the whole show, and you are in luck especially if you are French speaker.

Turns out, the ruling family was unhappy about this encounter and the show so they hired Olivier Pardo to represent Azerbaijan. Padro turns to be the right person for the job. He already said the program while accusing Azerbaijan of being "strictest dictatorship" failed to present evidence. Looks like Padro also missed the whole episode or maybe didn't listen to the facts in the show. But then it is not surprising, because Padro also represented Equatorial Guinea in France in a case known as "ill-gotten gains" when anti-corruption NGOs managed to launch an investigation into the cases of three African leaders' names mentioned in large- scale fraud. Representing that case, Pardo said, "the case of the "ill-gotten gains" violated international law and that he would contest the case and pursue France through the international courts".  

Sadly that investigation didn't lead to concrete results as French Court stopped short of making a ruling saying an NGO Transparency International "could not itself bring a complaint against three African heads of state". 

Pardo's list of clients is full of "murky" figures. He also represented Imad Lahoud, computer specialist whose name popped up in an corruption investigation in France; Carlos Vejarano, the manager of the Arros Island in Seychelles, and used as tax heaven- and these are just a few based on a short google search.

So Pardo has a record of representing a certain kind of clients so it should come as no surprise he also took on the case of Aliyevs, who also fall perfectly well into this category. 

The question now is will this case actually receive any attention in France? So far French TV channel has not responded and many see this as a "warning". But warning to whom? To all international investigative organizations and independent television? 

Aliyev must really have forgotten what independent journalism is having silenced his own journalists...

Here is to some hell of a valentine day

Looks like the hotel got too many phone calls or reactions, whatever the reason, the management removed the ad.

I guess next time they will be smarter when advertising something like this?!

This year on a special (and overrated?!) day of Valentine, you can offer your special one an unforgettable gift. Only (you know, the pocket money) for 100,000AZN (approx. 127,400USD) you can get a package that includes two night stay at Baku's Four Season Hotel; dinner for two at the UNESCO protected sight the Maiden Tower; milk bath (good for hydrating you know); and 24 carat gold massage. Oh and I almost forgot, you will be staying at the presidential suite which as the website describes "the most gorgeous suite"! 

Where do I begin?! Extravagance? Ignorance? And how the hell do you get to close down a historical site for a dinner for two?! 

But hey, this is Azerbaijan, the country of extravagance and kitsch of the few rich families and individuals including the president's family (fyi: Four Season's is just one of the few businesses of the first lady). 

Maybe its because the hotel is linked to Mehriban Aliyeva, and maybe because she is the Goodwill UNESCO Ambassador they "worked out" a deal for the dinner. Who knows! 

My favorite part of this announcement is the note at the bottom which reads: "note: this offer is subject to availability at the time of reservation".

Azerbaijan a country where gazelles and leopards are more valuable than its people

So Azerbaijani First Lady together with her two daughters attends "Here Today" exhibition in London last week. The exhibition "takes on the challenge of raising awareness of today's most pressing environmental issues, and seeks to raise funds to keep the hundreds of species facing extinction here tomorrow and beyond" reads the explanation on the official website. 

Supported by Artwise [Curators] who" take pride in delivering art of the highest quality in a professional manner" and glossy Baku Magazine  (managed by one of the President's daughters) the exhibition received a lot of coverage back in Azerbaijan. How could it not?! With the First Lady and the two daughters there not sure it could have been otherwise (not to mention one of Leyla Aliyeva's works was also featured at the exhibition). 

In her opening speech, daughter Leyla Aliyeva said, "In Azerbaijan, we enlighten the youth on protection of the environment". I wonder if Ms. Aliyeva is aware but in Azerbaijan people prefer throwing trash as they walk on the streets rather than use rubbish bins. And its all over the country done by young and old.  So I am not sure which "youth" she refers to because majority of it doesn't care much about environment. 

As to preserving endangered species and what not, I think our government should focus on preserving its respect towards human rights and freedom of expression, release its political prisoners first. Otherwise it really looks like gazelles and Caucasian leopards are a lot more precious than a human life. Maybe this could be IDEA's next project. I am sure daddy and mommy would approve...

Behind the Jimmy Choose, Chanel and more- the life of ordinary Azerbaijanis

Some time ago, when President Aliyev came to Turkey on an official visit, the local newspapers put aside the official language of the meetings and preferred instead to focus on the first lady. The headlines were all about the impeccable taste for fashion of Mehriban Aliyeva. So seeing this piece few days ago, wasn't surprising. After all, they are the daughters of a fashionista. But at what cost? A pair of Jimmy Choose for instance can cost anything from 848 to 125EUR according to the company's official website. Chanel bags, often adorning first lady's shoulder (in all colors and sizes) are between 15,000USD and 2,600USD according to this website. Of course the list of brands and products can go on and on and so can their prices. They are the President's wife and daughters but can a pair of Jimmy Choose really cover up the behind the fashion scenes of average Azerbaijanis?

Baku has become an expensive city to live in. It has also changed. New restaurants, cafes, boutique shops pop up here and there. But they are not cheap. I think it was my mother's birthday. We had a wonderful time but when I paid the check and we were about to leave, something that she said touched me. Being a doctor of some 40+ years, dedicated to her job, she said to me that she would have never afford coming here given the check was around half of her monthly salary. And there I was, surprised and yet frustrated that I, with some 5+ years of experience, could afford a life style not just my mom, but many of our older generation folks cannot afford (and this is just a simple dinner, at a decent restaurant). 

Then came the time when I had to take care of my mom when she had a stroke. One of the shots she had to be given, cost quarter of her salary. She needed these shots every day.

So here we are, with my mom being just one example while there millions of moms like mine struggling, surviving, depending on their children (if their children can actually take care of their parents) and our fashion and brand conscious first lady and her daughter, who apparently like to wear lots of mascara and wear their hair down. 

Surely, its not just about fashion and brands. When a big chunk of the country is looking for jobs, or trying to get by on daily basis, isn't it a bit obnoxious to pretend that lots of mascara is all you need? Or when majority of our over-50 elders, struggle with their monthly pensions to simply have a life?

Perhaps the family needs to look beyond the shoulders of their advisers and pretentious officials? I am sure instead of a pair of Jimmy Choose an average Azerbaijani would prefer a good supper on a table, and a worry free life about tomorrows.

Show your solidarity and support human rights in Azerbaijan

Google Images

This is the title of a recently launched petition by "SingForDemocracy" initiative in the run up to the Eurovision 2012. Please visit this link to sign the petition and join the cause.

No matter how many people around the world support this song contest and are traveling to Azerbaijan to see it, they should all be aware of the reality hidden behind the facades of glamor and modernity in this country. 

Join the cause, sign the petition and make a difference- show your solidarity in making Azerbaijan a better place!

Azerbaijan and Egypt's First Ladies together building peace

Ok, now, this is something I wasn't expecting to see. The song was apparently written by Suzanne Mubarak and performed by one of the Azerbaijani singers- Tunzala. Its just 'piece of art' isn't it?!