Gotta love this!

From our beloved president's Twitter account

(Updated on 03.07.2014)

The amazing quotes just keep on coming- these two for instance are my two new favorites! I wonder where its possible to find this "will" and "priority" 'cuz let me tell you, it ain't real! Perhaps there are special glasses or maybe an outfit one must wear to see this so- called "will"?! And if there is then they gotta' be available for everyone, not just the President!

The Republic of Azerbaijan declared the fight against corruption a priority of its presidency of the (cont) http://t.co/VSMGbrBiK1
— Ilham Aliyev (@presidentaz) July 1, 2014

There is a strong political will to successfully combat corruption in Azerbaijan.
— Ilham Aliyev (@presidentaz) July 1, 2014

We cooperate successfully within international organizations. In particular, our delegations to the Council (cont) http://t.co/LtTiQp5zMN
— Ilham Aliyev (@presidentaz) June 17, 2014

That is caviar diplomacy in the making in case you didn't notice the depth in meaning of "within" and "active cooperation" part.
 

All fundamental freedoms are guaranteed in Azerbaijan. There are free media and free internet.
— Ilham Aliyev (@presidentaz) June 16, 2014

I think I will stick to this post keeping it updated with more amazing quotes to come (see updates in the beginning of the text)!

Behind the Jimmy Choose, Chanel and more- the life of ordinary Azerbaijanis

Some time ago, when President Aliyev came to Turkey on an official visit, the local newspapers put aside the official language of the meetings and preferred instead to focus on the first lady. The headlines were all about the impeccable taste for fashion of Mehriban Aliyeva. So seeing this piece few days ago, wasn't surprising. After all, they are the daughters of a fashionista. But at what cost? A pair of Jimmy Choose for instance can cost anything from 848 to 125EUR according to the company's official website. Chanel bags, often adorning first lady's shoulder (in all colors and sizes) are between 15,000USD and 2,600USD according to this website. Of course the list of brands and products can go on and on and so can their prices. They are the President's wife and daughters but can a pair of Jimmy Choose really cover up the behind the fashion scenes of average Azerbaijanis?

Baku has become an expensive city to live in. It has also changed. New restaurants, cafes, boutique shops pop up here and there. But they are not cheap. I think it was my mother's birthday. We had a wonderful time but when I paid the check and we were about to leave, something that she said touched me. Being a doctor of some 40+ years, dedicated to her job, she said to me that she would have never afford coming here given the check was around half of her monthly salary. And there I was, surprised and yet frustrated that I, with some 5+ years of experience, could afford a life style not just my mom, but many of our older generation folks cannot afford (and this is just a simple dinner, at a decent restaurant). 

Then came the time when I had to take care of my mom when she had a stroke. One of the shots she had to be given, cost quarter of her salary. She needed these shots every day.

So here we are, with my mom being just one example while there millions of moms like mine struggling, surviving, depending on their children (if their children can actually take care of their parents) and our fashion and brand conscious first lady and her daughter, who apparently like to wear lots of mascara and wear their hair down. 

Surely, its not just about fashion and brands. When a big chunk of the country is looking for jobs, or trying to get by on daily basis, isn't it a bit obnoxious to pretend that lots of mascara is all you need? Or when majority of our over-50 elders, struggle with their monthly pensions to simply have a life?

Perhaps the family needs to look beyond the shoulders of their advisers and pretentious officials? I am sure instead of a pair of Jimmy Choose an average Azerbaijani would prefer a good supper on a table, and a worry free life about tomorrows.

The Central Election Committee

About a month ago, I took my papers personally to the Central Election Committee here in Baku in order to get observer credentials during the upcoming elections. It went almost too smoothly- a printed out form, filled and signed, with two passport sized photos and a photocopy of my passport. But, I didn't get anything in return- like a receipt or a paper confirming my application. The guard (who was extremely kind and also surprised that I was applying for an observer credentials to begin with) took my papers and assured me that I should have them ready in three days. So imagine my surprise when I showed up at the CEC this afternoon and was told that they never received my papers. 

The man on the phone (I had to stand outside of the entrance and call from a phone attached to the wall) took the liberty of making a few jokes- your last name means "lost" (yes, if you take the first four letters of my last name it does have a meaning as such but really?) so maybe it was natural that papers got lost somewhere. Numerous times he asked me whether I applied individually and perhaps there was simply a problem. He then told me to call another extension number. I did. No one answered. I called back the man I spoke earlier. I asked him how is it that if there were any kind of issues with my application they never called the number provided on the paper. He first was surprised. "Which number?" he asked, I said the number that you asked me to provide on the paper when I came here. "Are you sure you came here yourself?" he asked again. No, I teleported my self-double.

Anyhow, surely I was frustrated. In the back of my head, I thought there was a slight little chance that I was never going to get it. But then SURPRISE! 

The man who joked with my name called back and said the credentials were actually ready. I am heading there now to get it. I will take a photo- it feels like a historic moment.

No place for 300 Spartans in Azerbaijan

Remember the talking donkey from 2009? We all know how that satirical story ended- the brains behind the satirical video were jailed. Hooliganism was their sentence because the government was too embarrassed to reveal the actual destination of the lump sum of some 40 grand, which was the reported price of the super special imported donkey. 

So it was not surprising that when another satirical video appeared online two days ago, the brain behind it was apprehended immediately, questioned and "asked" not to publish anything of this sort in the run up to the presidential elections. 

Young photo journalist Mehman Huseynov who prepared the video said [AZ] following his release that he had no idea he was taken in for questioning because of the video. It was only after the police mentioned it to him that he realized what caused his apprehension. In an interview with Radio Free Euope, Huseynov said he told the police that this was political satire but apparently the dislike was so great that it caused a several hour interrogation anyway.

The video (below) in question is the classic that many of you probably have seen "300", a story about King Leonidas and a force of 300 men fighting the Persians at Thermopylae in 480 B.C. Talented Huseynov, took one of the most important scenes from the movie (the one when "evil men are pushed into the big well") and mashed it with a recent speech of Cemil Hesenli- main candidate running against Aliyev in the upcoming presidential elections scheduled to take place on October 9th. The scene ends with Hesenli saying "this regime must go".

Another embarrassment for the authorities if you ask me- Huseynov's video had only about 4,000 views before he was taken in for questioning, as of today it received 35,980 viewers (at the time this post is written). And if the government is so certain its going to win, why all this stress because one satirical video?!

New Azerbaijan-a movie in the making?

Taking a break from the news in Turkey, its time for me to say few words on whats been happening back home in Azerbaijan. 

For starters, for the first time in many years, Azerbaijani opposition finally came together and formed a National Council of Democratic Forces (I will put emphasis on "agreeing" here, because that seemed rather challenging before). They also chose its official face- Rustam Ibrahimbeyov. In the early 90s, Ibrahimbeyov co-wrote the screenplay for "Burnt by the sun" which won the Oscar in the category for the best foreign film. Few days ago, the Council announced Ibrahimbeyov's candidacy in the upcoming presidential elections scheduled for October. 

Surely, the ruling government reacted swiftly to the announcement. "Our candidate will get majority of votes" announced Mubariz Gurbanly, member of the ruling party's political council. Once again, reminding me of a child arguing with a friend over whose dad is better and stronger. In another anti- Ibrahimbeyov statement, a senior member of the ruling YAP, Siyavush Novruzov said, "He will only embarrass him and the political parties united behind him". Why would a "senior" political party member say something as "unsenior" as this is interesting. One would expect a more heavy weight statement (or not statement at all?!)

And then there are the never ending conspiracy theories- not only in Turkey but also in Azerbaijan, suggestions that an "interest lobby" is omnipresent whenever something new is happening in Azerbaijan is something we all are used to by now. There are jealous forces out there, wanting to ruin the ever so blossoming Azerbaijan. If this is not a perfect screenplay for a movie then what is it?! I think it will make an excellent blockbuster.

So will an Oscar winning screenwriter manage to stand the leading villain of the movie we will see in few months. For now, its going to be interesting to see further government's reaction. Someone should keep a record of these though, might be gems for a screenplay. Don't tell me later I never said so...

Humor me please- or how seriously Azerbaijani police takes its orders

Oh yes they do! You see, yesterday, on December 10th over 80 Azerbaijani activists were arrested and detained (and later released) as a result of unsanctioned public rally in Baku organized by some members of the opposition parties and some youth movements. 

As always police was there, all ready, geared up. After all, this rally was not approved by the city authorities so instead the police was approved to do what it took to "prevent hooligans from distorting public calm". And prevent they did. Not only they made sure every anti- regime activist was taken off the public square but they also arrested one gentleman in particular, who instead of protesting the regime, was calling for its support!

The video of the man being dragged by the local police while praising the late and the current president apparently gone viral. See it yourself :) 

Ironic isn't it?! I guess Azerbaijani police does take its orders pretty seriously, the mere uttering of the word "President" can be cause for arrest, no matter what the context it.

A scandal of some sort- Azerbaijani female MP caught on camera discussing bribes

(Updated see below)

Well, its not surprising that an MP was caught discussing bribes nor the fact that MP was a female. Corruption and bribing has become such a normal occurrence by this time in Azerbaijan that hardly scandals of this sort really change anything. Perhaps, a bit of change- at least for savvy social media users the recent case of an Azerbaijani female MP discussing a specific amount of "500" (the rest of "0"s are unbeknownst) created lots of room for debate. As of yesterday for instance, a trending #500olsaydi [AZ] ("if there was 500") on Twitter became a popular way to express what would someone do if they had that "500" or various jokes about Ms. Ahmadova. In fact, some even decided to start polls- asking what would happen to infamous MP (or shall I actually say a YouTube star?)- will she be stripped of her mandate? Will she resign? Will she be treated as a hero?" and questions alike.

This video [AZ] at the end of this post, is the proof of Ms. Ahmadova discussing that bribe of "500". Since its in Azerbaijani, I thought I share a short excrept from the conversation that is taking place between the three of our heroes (by the way, so as not to confuse anyone, the elections at stake here are the 2010 parliamentary elections).

Gular Ahmadova: "I am well experienced in "petty fights"! You can't joke in politics! You have seen Ali Insanov, Ferhad Aliyev [currently arrested former ministers]! I am a person who eliminated [scratched off] the list of candidates [during the parliamentary elections in 2010] that went to the President! I take the money myself, who is Mr. Ramiz [Mehdiyev]? This is my price! I am the one who is asking for the bribe!"

I take the "500" is probably 500.000. The question is of what? Manats? USDollars? Most probably Manats, but hey who cares. We'll see what is going to really happen to Ms. Ahmadova. I doubt anything serious. And even if she is stripped of her mandate or taken down (very very very best case scenario), the rest of the 123 MPs still stand and who knows when their dirty deeds will surface...

(Updated)
The man in the video is Elshad Abdullayev, rector of a private university in Azerbaijan. Currently Abdullayev lives in France in exile. The bribe at stake is how much he must pay to become a member of the parliament. The conversation or bargaining would be a better fit for what is happening in the video heats up when Abdullayev says he was told it would 500 and not one million, while Ms. Ahmadova begins to boasts of her "successful career" as a rigger (see the short excerpt above). For more details, you can read this piece by AzeriReport.