Tuesday, July 28

Azerbaijan the land of fake and stuffing

If there is one thing Ilham Aliyev's cabinet is really good at its stuffing and fake [there are many other things its good at as well but I will stick to these two this time for the sake of the argument]. I know, sounds strange and unrelated but if you bear with me you will get the point shortly. 

So those familiar with Azerbaijan's cuisine, are probably also familiar with a dish called "dolma". It's a dish popular in the whole geographical region - Greeks have it, Turks have it, Armenians have it - stuffed vegetables/grape or cabbage leaves with a variety of stuffing. But thats not the topic of this post. 

We like stuffing in general. In fact we have many other delicious dishes which include stuffing too. Our government likes stuffing too. But on a whole other level. If you haven't heard or experienced "political stuffing" then you should come and visit Azerbaijan [if you can that is]. 

We have an excellent record for instance with stuffing ballot boxes - government's obedient slaves stuff ballot boxes with fake votes, generating fake results and therefore staging fake elections. 

The government of Azerbaijan also excelled at stuffing its people's heads - by taking away privileges of good education the Ministry of Education and its obedient staff have been stuffing its pupils with god knows what contributing to fake education [although there are some exceptions of some really smart young Azerbaijani men and women, which unfortunately are the minority]. 

There is one thing that many Azerbaijanis are as good as the government of Azerbaijan itself and that is stuffing pockets - giving bribes, buying favors, and so on. Unfortunately none of it is done with fake money but while the money is real, its sources are questionable. 

We stuff pro-government rallies with people with stuffed heads and faked believes. 

Stuffing is all around and in the air. Its a political skill and the better you are at stuffing, the higher you can get in the government.

More recently however, we have been seeing a different kind of stuffing. You will never guess what it is unless I tell you. Yes dear readers, we can also stuff court rooms with fake attendants who pretend to be fake relatives of real political prisoners (but who don't know the names of their "relatives" of course only because they are super "excited" or "nervous"). This was the case during the most recent hearing of rights activist Leyla Yunus. According to local reporters while it was extremely difficult for journalists, diplomats and acquaintances to attend the trial, this wasn't the case for a group of "court employees" who entered the court room from a different door, without any scrutiny and carrying their mobile phones. 

I bet, if there was a category in recently held European Games in Azerbaijan which involved stuffing, Azerbaijan would have gained another gold medal for sure. 

I expect many more stuffed hearings...